I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
