Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
