Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
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