my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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