Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I need to calm my uterus...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize