I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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