i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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