i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize