i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
