so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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