so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
