Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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