I think im going to throw up on grandma
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
