I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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