You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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