perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
