omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
