She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
