She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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