Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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