Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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