Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
