I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I want to make a zoo with you.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
