is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
