Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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