Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
