so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize