i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
