bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
