And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
