tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
