We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
