I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
