Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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