I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
