Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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