What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
