Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize