Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
