what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
