Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
