Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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