Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Damn victory sex feels great
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
