I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
