he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
