How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
NoShamevember. You game?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
