fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
