apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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