sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize