Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize