i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
