he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
