i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
