the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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