There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
