Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
