i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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