I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
