Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
My pussy is not your playground.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
