D3 body, D1 cock
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
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