3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
