That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
