if only i could text you this smell
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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