well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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