Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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