ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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