Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
