I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
